Being desi is a fantastic experience. You get to be a part of a lively and colourful community where the festivities are incredible, families are stronger, and the food is to die for. However, it is not without its drawbacks. All that sticky, deep-fried food (shallow frying tou aati hi nahi humain) can be bad for your health. After Eid, getting on a weighing machine is always a sad storey.
As someone who has been a big victim of this, I’ve attempted to lose weight several times. However, losing weight in a desi household can be difficult. Be prepared for a biography.
Your family guffaws at your decision right away.
Positive and constructive discourse is not valued by Desi families. They simply do not. Their method of motivating you is to criticise your every move. However, as a driven person who is concerned about their wellbeing, you choose to disregard those remarks. You’ve embarked on a legendary quest for self-improvement, and you’re not going there. And neither is your aunty, who would mock you for her inability to lose weight despite her best efforts.
The desire to give in is powerful.
Any of the food in the refrigerator. It’s possible that it’s yours. It’s all yours. You’re tempted to cave in and eat a sliver of the delectable coffee cake. And, to be frank, it isn’t your fault. The repetitive remarks from your family aren’t helping you at all. You’re irritated that your siblings purposefully ate all the fast food next to you. You have the ability to split at any time…but you don’t. Since YOU ARE EXTREMELY STRONG (or at least that is what you think).
Poori dunya ko achanak shaadi karna yaad aye ga.
This isn’t a novel concept. I’m not sure if this is intentional or just a coincidence, but either way, IT DOESN’T HELP. You’ve dealt with all of the distractions and temptations, and things are looking up, but your mother now says, “beta X aunty ke betay ki shaadi hai, kal jana hai.” WHY IS THIS THE CASE? What’s up, KYON? Additional tax nahi lagna tha, aik hafta pehly shaadi rakh letay. However, your appeal is futile. The date has been set, and you will not be able to change it since acha nahi lagta beta. So now you’re trapped in a room full of delicious food, surrounded by people who are also eating delicious food, and you’re battling your inner demon. But, like anything else, it will pass.
Your relatives’ appearances adjust more quickly than you can tell WTF.
Your family found that you had gained weight and didn’t hesitate to tell you about it…at all. “Oho beta tumhain kahan zaroorat hai dieting ki?” you might wonder now that you’ve started working on it. Can’t you do it, Matlab? Apnay kaam se kaam rakhain apnay kaam se kaam rakhain apnay.
There are times when you feel tired.
Since overcoming all of these obstacles, you’re finally on your way to a healthy lifestyle. Things are going much better than they were before. Your belief in your own abilities is growing. You can actually see the light at the other end. When you open the refrigerator to get an apple or some other nutritious snack, you find some delicious extra cheesy lasagna. Aur phir, aur phir, aur phir All. OH MY GOD. BREAKDOWNS. FRAGILE. One single dish sends you into a tailspin, and you dive right in. You give in to your inner urges, completely oblivious to the consequences.
Back to the beginning
You take a deep breath and let out a sigh as you survey the aftermath of your lasagna spree. A sigh that reflects a feeling of “crap, not again,” rather than sorrow. You decide to take out your laptop, put on some music, and write an essay about how you lost after obsessing about your failure for an hour. (This is getting a little too real.)
Anyway, if you’ve had a similar experience, let’s commiserate together.